As a junior in high school, I felt like I had finally found balance in my life. Today it sounds funny, but it was a long, hard trip for me to achieve that balance. I'd struggled with weight gain and depression off and on for three or four years. Through diet and exercise, I managed to get off antidepressants. I had a group of loving, supportive, and understanding friends. I had a great boyfriend. We were talking about moving in together and getting married. He had even bought me a promise ring, a tiny heart with a little diamond in the bottom of the V.

I felt like my life was really going somewhere. My grades were good and I was researching careers and colleges. Then one day I realized that my period was late. I couldn't believe it. I waited until I was a week late and then bought a dual set of home pregnancy tests. It was true. Even though I had been on the pill, the dose had been too low to prevent fertiliztion.

I was terrified. My parents were gone for the week, so I had a few days before I had to tell them. I knew they were going to kill me. I thought they would kick me out. I was afraid they would never speak to me again.

One of the first people I told was my Youth Minister, Ron. He hugged me, and told me if I needed somewhere to go, his door was always open to me. He said it would be ok, and he didn't think any less of me. Before I left to go home, he made me promise to tell my parents right away. Unhappily, I agreed to tell them as soon as they came home.

Ron's wife called me after I got home. We talked for a long time. I cried, but she gave me some comfort. She had still been in high school when she got pregnant with her son, and it was good to hear from someone who had "been there." She reassured me that everything would work out, and promised to be there to support me.

Two days later my parents came home. I felt sick to my stomach, I was so terrified of what was going to happen. I kept saying to myself, over and over again, "They always promised I could come to tell them anything. They have always said they would always love me no matter what." My mom and I sat at the kitchen table eating dinner. I kept saying "Mom..." I would pause, and she'd say "What?" I would reply, "I love you." I was too afraid to tell her, and didn't know what to say. Finally she asked me, "Laura, what's on your mind? You obviously want to talk to me about something. It can't be that bad." She said. Ha! "What is it? Are you pregnant?"

She was just kidding, but I replied miserably, "Yes." She laughed and said, "Seriously, what is it?"

"No mom, I really am.

My mom and my dad both came out of their bedroom and we all sat down in the living room, each on our own seperate peice of furniture. Voices got louder, and I just cried, and hugged a pillow against my chest. My parents yelled; they told me I didn't have to do this. They told me that if Nick didn't tell his parents, they were going to. They threatened to call the cops, just so he had to sit in a cell for 24 hrs. Finally, we were all crying. I don't know how long we sat in that room, but it was a long night.

I went to school the next day and pretended nothing had changed. I went to each of my classes, did my work, ate luch, and went to track practice. It wasn't long before word got around. I wasn't showing at all, but people talk. I was okay. I just acted like I didn't mind talking about it, and people left me mostly alone. Spring Break came and went, and most people forgot and moved on to gossip about other topics.

Summer vaction came and went. My family spent lots of time together, camping and traveling. Nick stuck by me, even though his family was still angry, and we decided to move up the wedding to September. My mom and I sent a letter to the school board requesting an exception in graduation requirements. After the first semester, I would have had all the requirements except that 8th semester.

My senior year was a lot harder than the previous. I was getting pretty big, and I was uncomfortable. Halfway through the semester, only two weeks after Nick and I got married, I got put on bedrest. It was lonely and long. I only had a few more weeks to go, but it was hard. The high points of my week were the car trip into the doctor's office to have non-stress tests done.

Finally, on October 30th, I woke up and knew that it was the real thing this time. The contractions were getting regular, and I couldn't sleep any longer. It was 4:30 or 5 when I got up and went to sit in the living room. I put a heating pad against my back and curled into a chair. I dozed off and on. Finally, around 7 I woke up Nick and told him he had to stay home from work and take me into the hospital. I got there and was checked in and taken to my room.

It wasn't long before I was dialated to 7. At 11:30 they decided to break my water because I had seemed to progress for an hour. Just over an hour later, my sweet daughter, Jade Mickayla, was born, beautiful and content.

(To read more details and my thoughts on Jade's birth, click here.)

After my daughter was born, my life as a teenager ended. I lived for the next feeding, for naptime, for every breath my daughter took. I finished out the semester with 32 Medically excused absenses, and all A's with the exception of one B.

Read about the Next Chapter in My Life

Originally published at http://ladylaura.faithweb.com. Edited February 2001. Copyright 2001.