It was a Thursday afternoon and I was feeling tired and achy. My school-day was almost over, and I made the decision to finish all my art projects and not begin anything new. I would not be going to school the next day.

I went home and enjoyed a nice meal with my mom and sister. After a while, I noticed that my crampiness had progressed into contrations. They weren't too regular, but were coming every 6-12 minutes. Was I in labor? I let my mom know I was having some contraction and got into the shower. Oh LORD, did it feel good! I didn't really have any expectations, but just tried to relax and enjoy my evening. I think I knew I was in labor, but didn't expect the baby to arrive anytime soon. After all, I wasn't due for 3 days!

I went to bed that night and fell asleep easily. I keep waking up though, for no clear reason. I didn't realize at the time that the contractions were waking me up. Around 4, the contractions started getting strong enough that I was wanting to vocalize through them. Since I wanted to let Nick keep sleeping, I went upstairs to sit in my Dad's soft rocking chair. (Think Lazyboy.) My parents have a big picture window, so I opened the curtains to watch the sun come up. I plugged in a heating pad and dozed with it on my back and then on my hard tummy. It was lovely, seeing all the pinks and oranges and yellows while I sat in my warm and cozy arm chair.

It was 6:30 or 7 when my family starting getting up for the day. No more dozing! Nick asked if he could go in to work and I said, NO! He tried to reason with me, saying that he had a lot to do. I started feeling a little stressed and began feeling really uncomfortable. Nick's work was over an hour drive away, and I just knew if he left, he wouldn't make it back in time for the birth. I think I made him take me to the hospital around 7:30, maybe earlier. Our neighbors were leaving for school and we waved to them as we walked out to the van.

Walking to the van seemed to take a long time. I walked REALLY slow, and had to stop with each contraction because they were taking my breath away. Nick commented that I just wanted to go to the hospital so I could get drugs. "NO, I'm NOT." I think the contractions were coming every 3-8 minutes at that point. By the time we got to the hospital and were admitted, my contrations had slowed, but seemed to be coming more regularily. I changed into a hospital gown and got on the bed to have a cervical check and mandatory EFM done. I think the resident pronounced me to be four centimeters. I was in labor. (In retrospect, I realize I was still in a very early stage of labor. I'd been three centimeters dilated since 33 weeks!)

And so I was moved into a labor and delivery room. It all seems kind of fuzzy from this point on. I remember having lots of bowel movements. I spent a lot of time sitting on the toilet. When I wasn't there, I was sitting Indian style on the bed. I didn't want to move or be talked to. I remember the nurses as being very distracting. My mom arrived and it was comforting to know she was there.

Around 10, the resident (or maybe a nurse?) checked me again to see if I was progressing. I don't believe he told me where I was. But he came in an hour later and said I was still at 7. He wanted to break my water to get things moving. Having no clue, I said okay. I think I really just wanted to be left alone. I had no idea that him breaking my water would throw me into transition and completely destroy my composure.

My membranes were artificially ruptured at 11:30. I remember my mom encouraging me to lean on the birth ball. It felt really good, but my knees started hurting quickly, and then I began vomiting. Ugh! I felt terrible!

Somehow I was moved (herded?) to the bed. Someone told me how to sit and that I was complete- time to push. It all seems a little hazy at this point. I remember two people helping hold up my legs and directing me to push. "I can't do it!" I thought. Maybe I said it too, but I pushed like a good patient anyway. God I hated the counting thing they did! It was impossible to concentrate and relax with all those people shouting and distracting me.

In no time at all, Jade came out of me. I don't remember feeling the "ring of fire," but I felt the episiotomy, and it HURT! Almost instantly the placenta slide out. (I believe the time on her birth certificate was 12:38. I remember glancing at the clock and thinking it was 12:30 as she was born. )Wow. I was shaking and felt like I was out of control. I guess it was kinda like after a race- you work so damn hard, and then you get the the finish line, and just about fall over from working so hard. I'm glad that Nick brought her up to me while I was getting stitched up, before they did there routine on her. Up until I kissed her forehead, I couldn't care less that I had birthed my baby. She was a sack of potatoes, for all I cared! I wish now that I could have held her.

I felt ever stitch that my Ob put in me, even though they gave me a local and assured me it wouldn't hurt. I guess I had it pretty bad. In addition to my episiotomy, I tore in two spots. I didn't know that until Jade was nearly three. Nobody told me. I wish I'd birthed in an upright position. I wish I knew my rights and options a little better.

Within an hour, I nursed my baby. Oh my goodness! It felt so natural, so right. The nurse who helped me wanted to know if it was my first baby, I did so well. Jade latched right on, with no problems at all. Wow.

We went to a recovery room, where I nursed and slept off and on. Jade had a strong desire to suckle, and we hardly took a break for hours. I barely let Jade out of my arms. At one point during the night, a nurse came in and tried to take her from me. Said something about her not being safe in my bed. I don't remember what I said to her, but she left, and Jade stayed in my arms.

Jade never even left my sight until the next day, when I let the nurses take her to get a bath. She wasn't gone long, maybe an hour. (Note: The next day, I really regretted not going with the nurse. I didn't know how to bathe a baby!) I took a short walk with my mom. I hadn't gone very far when we ran into Nick's Grandma. Back to the room we walked. Whew! I was exhausted. I really wished I could go to sleep, but felt like that would have been rude. I should have taken a shower instead of a walk. I felt gross. Anyway, Jade came back and visited with Grandma.

I guess I went home that evening. I could have stayed another day, but I wanted to get out of the hospital. It was Halloween, and I wanted to see the trick or treaters! I didn't want to miss out on ALL the Halloween fun! It was good to be home, and we got some great pictures of my sister in her Halloween costumes holding her day old niece.

For a hospital birth, I feel like I had a pretty good experience. However, I will definitely be having a home birth for the next baby. After lots of research, I've come to the conclusion that for me, HOME is the safest place to be.